Kowalski: Site on Ice

I’m travelling overseas on this coming Friday, 23rd Feb. In between now and then I’ll be organising things, buying last-minute stuff, making sure everything’s in order, packing, etc. I’ve also promised myself to write the most personal, most important thing I’ve ever written, which will probably never go up on The T-Shirt Corporation. At least, it won’t go up without permission and I don’t know if I could bring myself to ask for permission. I mean, really, its personal, right? Yeah, whatever.

I don’t know when I’ll be updating The T-shirt Corporation again, if I ever update it. I hate this thing as much as I love it and almost everything I wrote on it kills me as much as it brings me life. A part of me wants to keep up with it, but I know I’ll also be relieved to leave it behind me. I also don’t know what internet availablity is going to be like where I’m heading. For now I’m putting the site on ice, a period I will officially call Kowalski, in honour of the last American hero to whom speed means freedom of the soul.

The T-shirt Corporation has pretty much served its purpose: to get me writing on a regular basis. My writing’s probably also improved just out of practice, but in all honesty I still think that, for the most part, my writing just plain sucks. Maybe one day I’ll be able to write real quality work that will be worthwhile reading and people will finish reading it and think, “Hmmm… that was really worth my while”, but for now that’s just a pipe dream.

I would have liked the last update to be Where to From Here? as it is exactly where my life is at right now. I’m in the middle of the most beautiful, most painful thing ever, and I have no idea.

I’m planning on blogging (I hate that word!!!) my overseas journey. Maybe I’ll link to it on here sometime.

Thanks,

-S

Uncertain Melancholy

Uncertain Melancholy

Drowning in uncertain melancholy,
I look at every face with suspicion;
Every handshake is dishonesty,
Every word condescends.

Where to From Here?

Where to From Here?

I’m devastated,
Conquered and depleted,
Desolate,
And my heart’s defeated.
My land is yours,
Your flag is raised
And I’m lost in
This smoky haze.

You killed me,
And now I have no idea.
You killed me,
And I don’t know where to from here.

I don’t know
Where to now.
There’s no escape,
The bridge is down.
You’ve laid waste
To all my defenses,
So I surrender myself
To the consequences.

You killed me,
With a smile on my face.
You killed me,
And took me to a better place.

Pain

I don’t want to lose the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had.

Sparkling Times

Sparkle

Slip and slide into sparkling times
Surround me in sensuality sublime
Never mind the passing of time
Just stay here and be always mine

Twilight Vespers

No One But Me

 Swept away by the twilight vespers,
Always wished to be wrapped in a sparkling deep-blue blanket of stars.
Slow dancing together in the springtime,
But who’ll keep you warm when you’re lost on Mars?

And who’ll be around to keep you company in the winter time,
When flowing streams of meteors carry you through moments of indiscretion.
But there’s no one but me there every time I lie to myself.
And I lose all sense of which direction.

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